Darwin vs. Aliens

I had an epiphany today.

I know why Bogda is crazy.

I let my mind wander while she embarked on yet another wild tirade.

My first thought was, "How do I get out of this?"

My next thought was, "Oh yeah. She quit smoking a month ago, her brain is suffering serious nicotine withdrawal..."

Then I thought, "How do I get out of this?"



Oh and the topic of conversation?

Darwin was an idiot. Evolution is too far fetched. It is much more plausible that an alien race mixed with Neanderthal to form Homo Erectus. Then a few thousand years later they came back to see that the new race didn't amount to much and they tried to breed again. They continued these efforts until the modern human was achieved.

So forget the apes-- absurd! We are actually descendants of a real live alien race. Or at least Bogda's German author makes a very convincing argument.

Smart American or Dumb.....?

Actually, I love Bogda. I can't say enough about how she has helped and saved me since we've lived here. But occasionally I find myself tired.

Tired of agreeing with hair-brained ideas.
Tired of saying "I don't know" when she asks me what to do with her ill behaved children.
Tired of listening to her have a conniption over something I feel is pretty mundane.

The other day as we walked our children to school she almost had a coronary describing how Obama is going to ruin our country, society, and the world. I don't know if he is or not, so I just listened.

"Lysa, what? That Osama (her pet name for our Commander in Chief) wants to spend 8 billion to study honey bees?! He's an F%&ing Moron!!"

Don't worry the children were out of ear shot.

It's a good thing she was on enough of a rant that I couldn't get a word in edge-wise, because I was tired and probably would have said a few things I would regret for the rest of the walk.

Then on the way home I tried to change the subject and it somehow turned into a recap of a movie she saw arguing that 9/11 was a government conspiracy. Again, I listened and said, "Yeah... I don't think so...." She continued to present the evidence and tried to convince me.

Again, the opinionated part of me started to boil up, but instead I just shook my head, smiled and said, "The government can't even get health care right, I don't think they could pull it off..." as I walked into my house.

Today the conversation was centered around the cold weather. Bogda is convinced that because she stood in the cold everyday of her childhood and froze her feet and knees waiting for the bus the cold ruined her bones. She attributes her aching feet to those days at the bus stop. Never mind that she works like a horse 20 hours a day.

There are people you can argue with and then there is Bogda. It doesn't pay off, I've tried it before and she still brings it up to convince me I was (and still am) wrong.

It's easier to just let her blow a fuse and be done with it.

I miss my friend.

One of my favorite people moved away today.

It makes me sad.

It has been a while since I have had good friends. It was as much by choice as anything else. I didn't feel like I could relate to people in a way that would mean a close friendship.

But then I went to aerobics and it changed my life. OK, social life.

Korie and I bonded over sit ups, kick boxing, and tricky aerobic dances. I was usually going the wrong way, struggling with my two left feet, and I was always at least one beat behind. So we would laugh as we faced each other (because I turned the wrong way).

But the real bonding took place on Fridays when we would drive to Chick-Fil-A immediately after aerobics. Those Friday lunches are probably what kept me going to aerobics (and kept me from losing any weight).

Korie is the kind of person who is friends with everyone, but when you are with her she treats you like one of her favorite people. That is a characteristic I noticed and admired about her even before aerobics.

So thanks for getting me out of my rut, my shell, my house.

I know it's hard to believe, but I miss you already.

John's dream

A nightmare.

He and I are walking together in the woods.
He slips on gorilla poop (funny!)
The gorillas come out of the bushes and start attacking him.
I turn and look but keep walking

because I don't care.


I wish I knew who or what these gorillas represent

because I do care.

Easy Like Sunday Morning

I hate, Hate, HATE our Sunday schedule this year.

I hate that we don't have church until 1:00.

In my younger (read "childless") years 1:00 church was no big deal.

Sleep in, lay in bed for a while, get up, make leisurely breakfast, read a magazine or watch some mindless TV, take shower, get dressed, go to church, receive spiritual edification, go home, lament the impending Monday blues, go to bed.

These days my kids are up at the crack of dawn and the day struggles along until church at 1:00. And why is it any other day of the week 1:00 comes so quickly? On Sundays my kids are bored, cooped up, and irritable. Oh wait, that's me.

At least we don't have church at 2 or 3... then I would really have to look into Protestantism.

Our Love Language

I've noticed a trend in learning your "Love Language". I have to confess I haven't read the book or attended any lectures. I don't even know the options. I think it is probably interesting and helpful to know how you and your partner express love.

I already know our love language-- Bickering. I'm pretty confident you won't find it defined in the book so I will do that now.

Those who express their love through bickering are often misunderstood by others. The constant banter can be misconstrued as anger. But for the bickerers they are simply stimulating one another's intellect, ability to reason, and formulate logical arguments. Teasing, chiding, and challenging is one way we say, "you are valuable and important in my life."

Complicated and possibly dysfunctional? Totally.

Guilt trip

I am a horrible person.

I skipped church today for no good reason except it sounded like it would take too much energy to go.

I pawned my children off to my mother-in-law.

I read the entire issue of US Weekly that Ashleigh K. Wright keeps getting delivered to our address.

I read said magazine while my children fought right in front of me.

I listened to Wait, Wait... Don't Tell Me on NPR during the multi-annual public radio fundraiser knowing full well that I have never donated money to keep quality radio on the air.

I laughed out loud several times during the radio program, another reason, according to the hosts, to donate money to keep quality radio on the air.

I ate five homemade Churros (thanks dad) and one plate of Valentine's/President's Day cookies (thanks Beth).

Oh, and I also ate a single dip frozen custard from Good Times earlier today (aka the Sabbath).

I should probably donate to NPR.

I have been feeling the need write an actual post all week but have come up short on inspiration. It's like when Kumar (from the one of the best movies of all time, Bottle Rocket) says, "I lost my touch man, I lost my touch..." and Dignan says, "Man, you never had a touch to lose!"

I lost my touch.

But since it's Valentine's day I thought I would write a few things for the sake of my posterity.

I met Jared at church, he was the best looking, best dressed person in the ward. I later found out his wardrobe was a direct result of his job at Banana Republic.

Before I ever knew him he held the door for me and I froze. All I could muster was, "I like your shoes" before I ran away.

Another time he hosted a service project at his apartment and made waffles for everyone. I crossed his path just as I was throwing my half eaten waffle away. Again I froze and stammered on about how it wasn't that the waffle was bad... He just looked at me like I was an idiot.

After our first official conversation he brought me a lime to add to my water. A few days later, I returned the favor and the rest is history.

I love that what you see is what you get with him, he's never been one to fake it. He has an opinion but isn't afraid to change it once in a while. I love how he is willing to stand up for the little guy. He is loyal-- to a fault.

Jared loves to help and serve others. I remember once we were walking into Village Inn and there was an elderly couple walking to their car. Jared ran ahead and escorted the woman with her walker and then helped her into the car. I would never have thought to do that.

Another time a woman tripped and fell in front of us at the airport, Jared ran ahead and asked if she needed help up and if he could get her something to drink.

The best story of all is when Jared saved baby deer.

We were driving on 9th East in Provo and were stopped at a light to turn left when all of the sudden he jumped out of the car and ran across traffic. I was screaming at him to get back in the car. Not only had he been driving and left his door wide open, but we were on a street notorious for its auto-pedestrian accident statistics. Then I saw what the problem was-- a deer had tried to jump over a tall metal fence and her hind leg was caught.

Jared and a passing bike rider freed the deer, carried her across the busy street and let her down in the adjoining neighborhood. She ran away, but we like to think she comes to see us every once in a while.

"Daddy on TV!"

Kitty says this every time she sees DJ Lance Rock from Yo Gabba Gabba!

If only....

I LOVE this show!

Serious Conversation?

Around this time every winter I start planning sunny escapes and vacation dreams.

Me: Maybe we could take a long weekend and go somewhere... even somewhere in Colorado would be fine...

Jared: We have to buy a 5th-wheel first.


What do all those families who don't have 5th-wheels do?

Croup

John has croup for the second time in two months.

Last night he said, "I guess I'll just lie in my bed of pain...."

Black and White

In a quiet moment this evening:

"Mommy, did you know you are following the bad guy, Satan?"

"I am? How do you know?"

"You are very, very, very mean to your children."

(and I thought today was better than most!)

"Who should I follow?"

"Jesus."

"What would I do if I was following Jesus?"

"You would be very, very, very nice to your children."

"Well John, I am trying very hard to do my best."

"Well I am trying very hard to love you."

Kitty's world

"What are you doing?"

"Just licking the window."

I just erased literally 100 pictures that Kitty took on my camera. I saved a few of what seem to be important reflections of her life.

See the blank spot? That's where she sleeps.

More babies.

Her cat, Sara.

Kitty's kitchen.

Clearly an exciting round of Candy Land.

The Jolly Green Giant.

More Honest Crap

I am shocked. I never win anything-- never. Emily just nominated me for this award, although I don't know what I win except another chance to talk about myself, which I obviously like to do. So thank you!!!

These are the rules:
1. Choose…blah, blah, blah…brilliant in content or design
2. Show the…blah,blah, blah…can keep the nifty icon.
3. List at least 10 honest things about yourself

Believe me, this list is honest-- brutally in some cases.

1. I was really confused by rules 1 and 2 and still can't tell you what they mean.
2. I tried out for cheerleading in high school. If you have seen me in aerobics, or even just trying to climb a flight of stairs you already know I didn't make it. I have never really regretted it either.
3. My family nickname is Bootles, or Bootie for short. My grandmother is the only one who still calls me Bootie. Jared is the only one who calls me Bootles. If he ever calls me by my first name then I know I am in trouble.
4. I tried to kill one of my roommate's plants my first year in college. My other roommate and I poured all kinds of cleaning chemicals in it, over and over. The darn thing never died. These days I can't keep any plant alive, I think it's karma.
5. I was an art major for about 5 minutes. I got intimidated-- plain and simple.
6. Despite what I've said in almost every job interview since I can remember, I am NOT good at multi-tasking.
7. I like to use tools. I like to put things together and figure them out. Once while Beth and I were both living in Provo, our dad called me to go help her change the tire on her car. I enjoy that kind of thing. Beth on the other hand, enjoys watching and bringing me lemonade to drink.
8. As a child I used to sit on the toilet and make up stories until my legs fell asleep.
9. I think Ralph Fiennes is so good looking. I thought so even before I married Jared who occasionally looks like him.
10. People used to tell me I looked like Lisa Loeb or Julia Roberts. I always considered myself more of a Molly Ringwald. These days I'm just lucky if they tell me I look like I actually got ready for the day.

Do you think if Molly Ringwald and Ralph Fiennes had babies they would be as cute as ours? No way.

So there you go. Now I get to choose some people to get the award. First Beth because I know she has some stories (and puns) to share, next, Meri because we all like drama, and finally Stacey because I want to know more about her.

My Laundry Dilemma

I just wanted to thank everyone for the super comments on their laundry habits! In my mind I always assume people have everything under control at their homes (not that you don't). I like that I am not the only one who puts off doing the laundry until someone brings their empty dresser to my attention.

I am impressed at those of you who have the strength, fortitude, and dedication to do all the laundry in one day. For some reason I can't bring myself to doing it all in one day. Part of the problem is I like to escape. I almost HAVE to leave my house every day making up errands, and fitting in trips to Sonic. Sure I could pick up and continue the laundry after a quick errand, but really by then I forget about it.

Another problem I face in trying to finish it in one day is that Jared is asleep during the day. So our clean laundry starts to pile up until I can put it away when he goes to work. I just hate seeing it in the hallway. It's like it never completely goes away.

If only we had a spare room to dedicate to clean clothes like one friend... that would be ideal. But instead our spare room is dedicated to Jared's hobbies, Christmas decorations, and anything else I can't find a place for.