Sister.

So here's the thing, my sister Beth leads a glamorous life.

She has always been more classy, more hip, more athletic, more smarter (did you catch that?), more coordinated, more organized (except for a few off years in college that I blame on a lack of space), more everything than me. Oh and I forgot the hair, she always had better hair than me.

But recently she gained a very cool follower to her blog. A famous (at least in my opinion) follower.

The best part? She didn't even know! I had to call her and tell her. That's the kind of sister I am.

Just so you know, she has a pretty good blog. I would recommend reading it, she is clever, witty, smart, and funny.

In one thing I have her beat-- I post more.

**don't worry Meri, you will get yours soon enough**

Just another exciting day...

Observations from today:

Contrary to popular belief, Chinchillas are NOT clean pets

Jared had never opened the Shop-Vac and didn't realize you can just dump out the contents when you are finished sucking them up.

I made a rash judgement today when I saw an unkempt, homely woman with tons of ugly kids, "That's what happens when you have too many kids," I told myself. Feeling guilty for the very thought, I quickly checked off several very attractive, hip friends who have lots of kids and happily disproved my theory.

Can you overdose on Flax seed? I have been adding it to everything, and so far John has not noticed.

When you add ground Flax to everything it looks like you are adding a scoop of brown sugar.

Spending over an hour looking up long lost friends on facebook is time well spent. You can sit there and try to remember the names of all your acquaintances through the years and then try to find them. I don't know what I would do once I found Beth Hickey, would I try to "friend" her? For what purpose? Just to stalk her profile? Then I wonder, why isn't anyone from my past trying to find me? Why don't I get the random "friend" request? And then I see that some of my friends have friended people from high school who I didn't even realize they associated with. And then all the old high school insecurities come flooding back and I have to walk away from the computer. But if anyone knows where Christine is...

And really? Avatar beat Titanic? Not that I loved Titanic, it was ok, but I can't even bring myself to consider seeing Avatar (no offense to my super cool cousin who worked on both films).

Is pre-cooked bacon better? I bought both today because John has been begging for bacon, but I didn't want my house to smell like breakfast for a week. He could tell the difference, he didn't know what it was, but he knew something was up.

I was stumped trying to pick out underwear for the first time in years... all the technological advancements were mind-boggling.

Just to be fair

To be fair I have to post about John since Kitty has received two in a row...

As we were watching the news this evening John looked over at me and said:

"Mommy, you should be a meteorologist because you would get paid lots of money to guess about the weather."

Instead I get paid very little money to guess about the past.

The sequel

Are you sick of the Christmas pictures yet? Too bad, I took about 50 and don't have any more recent ones.

Wednesday night Kitty and I were talking about school the next morning...

"Do you think Devon will be there?"

She just started to giggle with her hand in front of her mouth. It was a giggle reminiscent of a 13 year old girl. It was disturbingly giddy.

"He said he was going to kiss me!" More giggles. "And I'm not even a MOM!" Giggle, giggle.

When she got home from school the following day I casually asked about Devon.

"Oh, he forgot all about it."

Phew, another one dodged!

I thought I had a few more years...

This evening I had a conversation with Kitty:

"Did you know I have a boyfriend at school? It's Devon."

My heart literally stopped. I was shocked by my reaction, I mean, what is a 4 year old relationship anyway?

I wanted to make sure this Devon had good intentions, so I pried a little, "What does it mean to have a 'boyfriend'?"

"Someone who will kill spiders for you."

Phew! We don't have to have that talk yet.

"So does Devon know he's your boyfriend?"

"Of course!"

"How did it happen?"

"I was helping him finish decorating his dinosaur and, POOF, it just happened."

If only it were that easy...

Nothing new here.

I have nothing to write about. I considered writing about my celebrity dreams, but who wants to read about my boring dreams? Oh, you do? Warning: if you are expecting some sort of questionable content, stop reading! My celebrity dreams are wholesome, who do you think I am?


The other night the dream was that I went to a palm reader who actually reads the soles of your feet. It was a strange place, but it got rave reviews so I went (normal enough). Guess who read my fortune? You're right-- none other than Owen Wilson. I don't remember what my fortune was, but I do remember standing next to him, turning and saying, "Do you know my favorite movie?"


He looked at me and said, "Tron?"


"No. Bottle Rocket of course."


"Oh," he said, "Thanks."

Another time I had a dream that Ralph Fiennes came to my parents' house for dinner. It was no big deal-- the meal was served buffet-style. I don't remember talking to him, just exchanging a knowing glance across the table, as if we had an inside joke.

In college a group of friends and I were hanging out with Dave Matthews and we heard one of his songs on the radio and he blushed, or at least that's how my dream went.


I once asked Adam Corolla which type of bread to buy at the grocery store. I can thank Jared for that one, he's been listening to Adam's podcast and it's almost like he's Jared's honorary best friend.

See? Uneventful and boring.


The most memorable? The one about Beth being in a band called, "The Only Whore in the Night is the Vulture". Her album cover looked like the cover of "Mother's Milk" from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Which reminds me... Remember when Beth's hair looked like a "boy in a band"? Those were the days of Soul Asylum and grunge...

You know what's sad?

Do you know what's sad?

Haiti. So sad that I don't want to even talk about it.

Do you know what else is sad?

The fact that I changed my profile picture on Facebook to a "retro" pic just because I had one and it seemed like everyone else was doing it too. I don't even know who started the trend or why, and I just followed along. Depressing, disappointing, and maybe typical. I got sucked in and now I am ashamed. I usually try to do some due diligence and research before I jump in and run with the sheep.

Boy, I'm still upset about it.