Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tacky craft post

I always loved and admired my Grandmother's rag rugs that were made by her mother.  The rugs were starting to fall apart and so she and my aunt unraveled them and now looking at the balls of fabric are just as enjoyable as looking at the rugs themselves.  I have been wanting to make my own rug out of scraps I had on hand and I finally did it.

And now you can too--

Rag rug tutorial:
First rip strips of fabric and then start crocheting them in a circle.  When you get to the end of a strip just tie the next one on.  Get about halfway through your fabric and decided that tying all the strips together isn't working out.  Unravel what you've done so far.  Sew all the ends of the fabric strips together.  Start to crochet again, in what you think might make a circle.  Finish the rug, put it in the bathroom and look at how uneven and uncircular it is every day for a week.  Take it all out again.  Let your children play with all the fabric and get it severely tangled.  Untangle it and start over in what you now think might be an oval.  Finish it and call it good.

I want to make another, bigger, more colorful one, but I don't know that I can make the shape consistent-- that's the hardest part for me.  I can make something once, but duplication is impossible.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Some voting advice

As this political season gets into full swing I thought I would create a cheat-sheet for those of you who want to vote but don't want to read up on the candidates and amendments.  Here's the thing though, I don't always know how to spell the candidates names or what district they are running in or even their party affiliation-- you can figure it out.

I created this list in about ten minutes (mostly from memory, a few while watching t.v.):

Ed Purlmutter: He's not slick, he's a workhorse.

Cory Gardner: The wind taxes and the hypocrisy will blow you away.

Salazar:  He can't say no to Pelosi so we need to say no to Salazar.

Michael Bennett: He spends, we pay.  Bigger government, less money, more pain. He's their senator, not ours.  He's nobody's senator but yours.

Ken Buck: He's too extreme for Colorado.  Colorado is not for sale.  He doesn't get it so lets not get him.

Oh yeah, and one more....

Tom Tancredo:  He'll stop illegal immigration cold.  And if you don't think it can be done, just watch him.

And don't forget-- Amendments 60, 61, and another one I can't remember (101?) will KILL jobs.

There you go!  You can thank me later.

Friday, October 15, 2010

For the sake of a new post

The other day I ran to the store to buy dog food.  I went to the self checkout and lifted the 50 lb. bag to the scanner.  I scanned it and then felt something give.  The bottom of the bag ripped open and 50 lbs. of stinky dog food came crashing down on my feet.  Everyone around stopped and stared.  I heard some gasps and I stood there wondering if I could just run away. The guy told me to go get another bag and as I turned to run and get one I slipped on the crunchy morsels under my feet. I didn't fall, but I sure had my audience guessing for a minute there.

 Banana peels have nothing on dry dog food. 

Monday, October 11, 2010

True confession.

I've been feeling the blogging itch again and since I am sitting here avoiding work I decided it was time for a true confession post.  This one is a little embarrassing but I promise there is a lesson to be gleaned.

This story takes place during my Graduate school years (ie. I was old enough to know better).  A few years prior my sister had an "I love Jesus" air freshener hanging from her rear view mirror in her car.  It was a funny rainbow colored thing and we thought it was funny/cool.  We had a funny little fascination with various items of "I love Jesus" pop culture.

Fast forward to when I was a Teaching Assistant as a Grad student.  It was a winter morning when I noticed a black knit hat laying on the floor under a desk after class.  I went to pick it up and discovered it had a patch on the front.  An "I [heart] Jesus" patch.  It was too good to be true.  I had visions of wearing the hat, the conversations it might spark, and all the cool kids I might attract with it.  The hat would scream, "That's right, I said it, and I'm cool." 

I grabbed the hat and stuffed it in my backpack.  The only problem was-- I had a pretty good idea of who the hat belonged to.  I tried to shrug off the guilt and finished my day.  I saw the hat's owner a few times on campus that day, which only compounded my guilt.  When I got home I realized that my backpack had been totally open with the hat stuffed in clear sight.  Had the owner seen it?  Most likely.

A week goes by and I'm afraid to wear the hat.  The irony that I had stolen an "I love Jesus" hat was not lost on me.  In class I hear the owner complain to a friend that someone stole their hat and why would anyone want an "I love Jesus" hat anyway? I convince myself the owner says this knowing I was the dummy who took the hat.

The more embarrassing part?  When I brought the hat back to the classroom and just left it there for the owner to find.  Why didn't I just make up a lie about how I found it after class and was intending to return it?  Because once you steal something you can't think straight.

The moral?  If you truly love Jesus, you don't have to steal to prove it.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Here's the thing--

I'm nosey.  I prefer to call myself an observer, but really I like to snoop and come to my own conclusions.  But not in a bad, uncomfortable, voyeuristic way-- just in a curious "I'm understanding your story" way.

I've been this way ever since I can remember.  I remember finding the Prenatal vitamins in my parent's bathroom and knowing something was up before my mom announced the impending birth of my youngest sister.

Don't freak out, but if you have your blinds open and lights on at night, I am going to be peering into your house as I drive by.  Would it be strange if I were to knock on the door of the house on the corner and ask to see how their downstairs level differs from mine?  Yes it would.  Is it easier to just drive by slowly and come to my own conclusion?  Yes it is.

I read into cryptic conversation.  I notice when you might be going to an OB in the same building as John's counselor.  I am a detective.  I find things out.  I notice when one person seems to endlessly comment on your status updates on Facebook.  Speaking of Facebook...  if you are interesting to me, I will snoop your profile to figure out who you are and why.  I can come up with so much untyped information about you by reading between the lines... looking at pictures...

So pretty much, if this post makes you uncomfortable don't worry, I already know your secrets.