Remember When...

So my super sister posted a great list of memories (her blog is here) and I decided to copy her...

Remember when I could sit on the toilet talking to myself for hours?
Remember grasshoppers in my "angel hair"?
Remember when mom let us walk to Safeway when Beth was probably 7 and I was 5 (for kitty litter of all things!)?
Remember Show Biz Pizza?
Remember when I made Tommy ride home from school on a bike with a flat tire?
Remember when I made fun of Tommy's hand me down coat at the bus stop?
Remember when I would hit Tommy and he would just laugh?
Remember the Commodore 64?
Remember Castle on the Osborne?
Remember when we used to wear at least two pairs of socks?
Remember when we cuffed our jeans?
Remember Missy and Chucky and their old mom who smoked?
Remember perms?
Remember shoulder pads?
Remember staying the entire day at the pool in the summer, oh and the frozen Snickers from the snack bar?
Remember when we wore boxer shorts as shorts?
Remember when my lunch consisted of a roll and a cookie every day?
Remember when Mrs. Crow went crazy and broke the overhead projector?
Remember when Shelly and I glued all the copy to the light board in that same class?
Remember when we were clearly out of high school and we went to get a roll during lunchtime and Mr. Pitman said hi to us like it hadn't been 5 years?
Remember falling up the stairs at Heritage?
Remember Erasure?
Remember when Stake dances were the highlight of the week?
Remember the Galleria?
Remember when I made a basket for the other team?
Remember Will's Pit Stop and Baby Animals in my Pocket?
Remember when I smelled like "deer poop"?
Remember riding the bus to school and the bus driver named Dottie?
Remember when your permed hair would freeze at the bus stop?
Remember when it was cool to wear your dad's t-shirts?
Remember when Christine and I tricked our computers class by writing "go to room 111" on the board before class?
Remember when Jared purposely fell over and caused a commotion during Sunday School?
Remember when I thought the unmarked bottle of furniture polish was conditioner?

Bill Supa?

My Little Conservationist

*** I've already told several people this story, but I wanted to put it on the blog to preserve it for the future when our world is destroyed due to human negligence.

Kitty had a nightmare.

I asked her to tell me about it:

"No. It's just too sad."

I begged.

"Ok. I was wasting water."

"Oh. No." I waited for more information.

"The sink wouldn't turn off and the water just kept coming out until it was all gone," she paused a second to give me a sad, serious look and then turned and walked away.

The new poster-girl for water conservation.

Why do I try?

I have grand plans but inevitably fall short on the execution.

I spent the entire afternoon making candy to give to my neighbors. When I finally finished, I decided they didn't deserve any. Don't ask why, they just don't because I'm too tired.

Tomorrow I will deliver it... maybe.

I am tired of the unwarranted competition that goes on at this time of year. I don't necessarily seek it out, but seriously, when it gets thrown in your face it's hard not to react.

So if you are someone who got all the things done that you wanted to before Christmas-- good for you-- I don't want to know about it.

If your children are better than mine (mine are cuter)-- congratulations-- don't tell me about it in a form letter.

So take note:

I only want a newsletter that tells about all of your family's shortcomings. You know, the kind that will make me feel better about my situation.

If you are going to bring me a clever crafty gift it better not be made well. It better look like you made it. I want to see the flaws so I will feel better about giving away my sorry attempts at being creative and frugal.

Don't show me or tell me about how you made thirty of these homemade gifts in July in preparation for Christmas. Because if you do, I will proceed to tell you how I stayed up late the night before to make the same thing.

And aren't you bored with getting the same thing? What happened to ingenuity? It died with the internet. Suddenly everyone (including myself) has access to one person's creativity. Guess what? It's not creative, it's copying.

BAH! Humbug!

This is what happens when I am up four hours past my bedtime... making gifts I shouldn't be allowed to give away...

Is it just me?

We were both supposed to make a face, thanks for selling me out Kitty!

I think I'm getting old and out of style. Ok, not getting, I am old and out of style.

Do you remember that place the kids call the "mall"? I haven't been to one in months, possibly even a year. I just saw a news story about the crowds at the mall. I got to thinking, what are those people buying?

If you can't find it at Target, Costco, Nordstrom Rack, or TJ Maxx then I know it's too expensive and not worth my time.

This is how I know I'm a nerd.

Back in the day I used to shop at the mall all the time. I bought my makeup from the MAC counter, my shoes from Nordstrom, and my clothes from the Gap, Banana Republic, and J Crew. Now if I want a "name brand" I go to the outlets and balk at the prices. And really, are these aforementioned stores even considered cool anymore? Probably only for out of style moms.

Back in those days, "Christmas shopping" meant going to the mall. Now it means facing the toy aisle with all the indecisive grandparents, parents, and children (don't get me started).

Does anyone go to the mall anymore? Tell me you don't, it would make me feel better.

Kitty's Christmas list

As dictated to her preschool teacher:

Everything.

I want it all so bad.

Does half-way count?

I always have great ambitions going into the Christmas season. I heard some author explain Christmas as the illusion of the possibility of perfection. I think that sums it up.

This will be THE year.

I will decorate my house like a winter Christmas wonderland.

I will actually put up both trees, one with super fancy, coordinated decorations, ribbons and sparkles, and the other with our family ornaments.

I will get a real garland, or better yet, make my own from fresh cut greens... can you smell it?

I will spend cold, snowy days happily making cookies with my kids (I'm wearing an apron).

I will start at least three new family traditions.

My house will be warm, clean and smell of cookies and garland for the entire month.

I will come up with some great, creative, homemade gift to give all of the teachers and neighbors.

This will be the year I entertain friends and family for a Christmas get together at my house, I'll even break out the Christmas dishes that are still in their packages.

I think of all of these things in November. In December the reality hits and it all seems so exhausting.

I'm sitting here looking at my tree with decorations scattered around 2/3 of the circumference. You don't need to decorate the part against the wall, right?

Bad attitude

Its hard to see but some of the people in this picture are good examples of what I'm talking about. Not my grandparents, and not really my parents (they didn't know any better). But really? The kids? Super annoying looking nerds that would irritate the crap out of me if I saw them today.

I've got to shake this bad attitude before the holidays get into full swing. So what better way than to vent on the blog?

**Disclaimer: you might not like me after this, if you are already up in the air regarding your feelings toward me, stop reading now.**

Yesterday I saw an average looking baby and thought to myself, "That kid is UGLY". Poor thing wasn't that ugly, I was just in that kind of mood. It's a good thing my kids are never ugly.

Ugly people used to really annoy my sister and me. I remember one day she called me from the Wilk at BYU complaining about the Afterglow-esque music (remember them? if you don't, just think popish, inspirational Mormon music) blaring and the ugly people that were really irritating her. Actually, I just realized that was before cell phones so she probably called me after the experience, not while it was happening. Ah, the olden days....

What is it about the holidays? The influx of people out and about increases the likelihood that you might see one or two (or 75) that just really look ugly. Let me clarify, the one's that really bug me aren't your run-of-the-mill uglies. They are average looking and actually have an air about them that gets under my skin. Words can't describe it. Maybe it's a sort of dorky, ugly person. Maybe their pants are just a hair too short. It could be their hair is stringy, or that they are (heaven forbid) wearing a Christmas sweater. It could be the way they are devouring their plates of food like an animal. It could be the volume of their voice, or their choice in vocabulary.

These people are usually the one's interviewed on the local news after a shooting, fire, car crash, drug bust, etc. They are the neighbors that describe what they saw in an uneducated, inarticulate manner. They tend to describe events in terms of the sounds they heard. For example, the guy with the missing teeth and greasy hair might describe the shooting as: "I was watching the TV when all of the sudden it was like, GAT! GAT! GAGAGAT!"

Just so you know, I am usually very tolerant and willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I usually try not to be too judgemental, but about once a year the bottled up feelings get the better of me and I have to stay away from WalMart for the safety of myself and the uglies.