First day jitters...

My sister Meri likes to write letters, especially when she is irritated.

I am irritated.

This is my letter:

Dear Little Blessings Preschool,

I am not a stupid parent. I passed preschool with flying colors. I know there are some stupid parents out there, I do, but I am not one of them. (Did you see how I used bold to emphasize my point? I thought you would like that seeing how you like to bold things in your parent handbook.)

I attended your parent meeting last week. I left with a strange taste in my mouth that I thought was the taste of the money I would be submitting to you monthly. At the beginning of the summer that money didn't taste so bad, but the summer was expensive. You are expensive.

I do, however, appreciate being notified no less than five times since my first interaction with you that the deposit and last month's tuition would be non-refundable and that under no circumstance would I ever see that money again. I get it.

I was annoyed at the meeting when you told me that I was not allowed to leave small children in my vehicle while checking my student into class. I have no small children to leave behind, but I took issue with your threat to call the police if you ever see it happen, even once. I understand that it is not safe and that it's unwise, but really, the police?

I was irritated when you discussed the late pick-up policy. Five minutes, is that really all the time you are going to give me before you call my emergency contacts? What if my watch is six minutes slow? What if I am caught in the construction in front of the building? (oh yeah, you emailed me notifying me to allow extra time due to said construction) And if no one on my contact list can be reached after 30 minutes, social services is called. Really? I know some parents are habitually late, but social services?

It was degrading when you mentioned that my child should bring a healthy snack and a healthy lunch every school day. It would have been fine to merely mention it, but to go on about how the children are learning the difference between healthy and unhealthy foods and how they will know if their lunch is unhealthy was just a little too much. Not to mention the bold use of the word healthy in the handbook. I get it- just don't expect me to deprive Katherine of the Zebra Cake that her Grammy bought for her as a special treat!

And finally, I am a stickler for sick kids staying home and sparing the rest of us the misery. But really, don't tell me that if my child comes down with a runny nose and you ask her if I gave her medicine before school that she will rat me out every time. I am not deceptive, you could ask me and I would tell you I gave her some medicine. How do you know it wasn't for allergies?

Tomorrow is our first day... I hope we can get along for Katherine's sake. I also hope you won't call the police on me, confiscate her lunch, or send her to social services for having a runny nose. Plus I wouldn't want to lose my deposit and last month's tuition.

Yours Truly,
Alyssa